My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
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