considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
