id be glad to
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
