you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Randomize
