Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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