Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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