Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry procras_tinating hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.

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(812): View more from Indiana

They have edible shot glasses at target.

(1-812): View more from Indiana

There really is a God.

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.

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(630): View more from Illinois

Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.

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(256): View more from Alabama

I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno

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(647): View more from Ontario

I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!

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(813): View more from Florida

Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.

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