The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
