So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
