Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
