I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
My vagina is officially offended.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
