Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
It's blow job season.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
