I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
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