Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
