How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
