Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
