I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
