I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Randomize
