so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
