You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I said "one day" and that day is not today
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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