I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
