If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
