you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
i came on her dog
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize