planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
