can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
