I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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