windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
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