Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Randomize
