How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
