You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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