How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
