Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
