I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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