I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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