The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
