did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
