We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
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