So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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