I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
