Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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