In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
