who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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