But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Randomize
