i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
