I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
