Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
