he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
