I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize