She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
