Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
