went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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