$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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