TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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