At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
