wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
