i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
