I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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