Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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