She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
