We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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