shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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